7/5/20 Preface: Posting this because why not. I don't feel so bleak like this anymore, but it's nice to have these writings, to peer back into the mindset I once had, time keeps going, things change, feelings change, you get distracted by new things. Life keeps going until it stops. That sounded negative but it was meant to be positive, trust me.

~nov 13th, 2018 -

Easily startled 

Bad, bad eyesight. 

Talking to oneself, thinking to oneself.

Silence is of the utmost importance.

Close hearted but clean, at least on the outside, a being hurt before.

The first 3 hours of every day in solitude. A fast of vocal cords, a morning vow of silence--

Quick to anger, quite bothersome

A self defined purist

A romantic,--

A fondness towards the the art of the one-sided dialogue

A speaker to oneself.

moving on is quite the task, but not like climbing mountains and what have you,

it’s letting go. 

A scavenger, a collector of sayings, phrases, and lines.

We’re closer in my head. I miss you a lot in there

You pop up in my dreams all the time.

With passion, going nowhere.

With passion, going no place.

I look on to a pale horizon, an overcast sky

12/1/18

“Why are you sad?”

Love and happiness is passing me by in every direction all because I’m still stuck on you

I shouldn’t be

I always tell them that the timing is wrong

But the truth is I’m still looking for you in everyone I meet

I shouldn’t want to speak with you after everything that’s happened

I remember at first it was you chasing me to apologize 

~ April 15th, 2019 · A Lot's Gonna Change · Weyes Blood · Titanic Rising

Prone to a sudden change of Heart

A lot’s gonna change

You’re gonna be just fine

---

/4/19/19

“Working on Trying”

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/4/19/19 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0PaU-855oE

For a moment there i lost myself, 

It’s good to be back.

__________

/4/19/19

“Smarter than you think

Think and then you’re smart”

__

Old Poison  [notes]

I wish you well, 

You don’t to me

My bones swell

____

___

“content of these memories could be likened to the epistemology of dreams, in which we know things instantly, automatically, with neither evidence nor the need for it.”

“In our modern age we believe the universe is fully automated. From the cycles of the weather to the gyrations of celestial bodies to the microscopic forces that obtain in the nucleus of an atom, we conceive of the world as a machine, perhaps a perfectly deterministic one.”

5/14/19

I’m not sure what I hate more, 

Myself,

Or the fact i’ll never change.